I’ve bought, borrowed and rediscovered books so I’m starting out on the “you’re going to read more than you have ever done before” route. Well actually I think its not so much “read more” as “read and note more”. It is taking some time to get through a book on qualitative writing although I do have to say it is interesting and making me think about the shape my research might take and how radical its final form might be; I am drawn to narratives and anecdotes but realise i’ll need to set this up nearer the beginning so i get a good range of data and examples..but how do i do this? how much time will I be able to spend in the field and indeed where is the field?

I am also attending some courses in research methodology and that is so much easier; just turn up and particpate and do the homework.. with selected short readings and questions… I could say it is displacement from the real business of research but I do need to do this even if i allow it to take more time than strictly necessary…

But still not enrolled so I am unable to access the library or even more problematic the computer site.. there is a virtual learning environment (VLE) where I could virtually learn but I can’t get there yet.. so its real books and real classrooms and real people at present.

 My first meeting with my supervisor and a list of new refeences to chase up plus more reading! am I ready to make contact with these groups as suggested – do I have enough idea of what i am doing – what if i blow it now and can’t go back – I just don’t quite feel i have enough credibility to discuss what I plan to look at  now so I am putting this on hold.

Meanwhile my partner has finished an OU module and is FREE! no more studying then but I have only just started and have four years stretching ahead – I hope we can make it together..

Last time I dealt with getting my body up to scratch so now it’s time to look at my mind –oh yes and hand-eye co ordination (otherwise Try Drawing) and I did try it for three weeks but my bottle never looked like it would the liquid nor would the orange ever be eatable and charcoal is not a good medium to use when wearing white! So rapidly moving on….what do I know about? Well I have worked for thirty years in adult education and I do hanker after an academic life… what about a PhD my partner asks… what indeed … an article in a journal really set me thinking about the unease I had felt when working on estates encouraging people into learning and I might just explore that in a context outside of my professional role. More forms then but this time at least the bureaucrats do speak the same language…just in time for induction week and I’m not even the oldest student there (by about two years). The students however do not speak the same language and the range of interests which they have and the way they plan to investigate them leaves me feeling rather pedestrian with my proposal which is rooted in my experience and understanding. Themes we have discussed range from “international communities collecting vinyl” to “representations of Afghanistan in British travel books” and “computer narrative in art”; my mind will be exercised in even attempting to say something sensible on these topics!Back at the gym I’m managing three times a week and “feeling the burn” or my trousers feel looser and I feel fitter so it’s not all bad then. The afternoon session is more cerebral (marginally) with game shows asking contestants to rearrange letters into words or numbers into sums so I can think with them whilst running, pedalling or whatever. It is increasing my word power and also my eyesight as I struggle to read the subtitles. This is not good news as we’ve been told we will read more for our PhDs than we have ever done or will do again so we need to get eye tests! But next year I’m sixty so it will be free.. hope it’s not too late then. Bookshops are full of encouragement to go back and I join a scheme promising discounts on books, and a free session with a personal trainer – really am combining my new life then – but when I stagger home with £100 of interesting/relevant books my back really doesn’t like it… I need that personal trainer.. do they know something I don’t?On with the reading with my new system as recommended by the Dean; I have the appropriate hardback notebook and the referencing sorted so just do it and I finally embark on what is going to be allegedly a long and apparently painful process leading to the wearing of a silly hat and international recognition. 

Two Reorganisations and a Review make a Retirement and Redundancy – as a maths tutor I can relate to that. As the amount of funding allocated to adult education has decreased and fees increased it seems that the anticipated  income may not pay all of our salaries –reorganisation seemed like a good idea for the management and for me redundancy seems even better…. so a leaving do on the pier and fish and chips all round then the August holiday but now it’s September and time to review my resolutions.

Resolution 1 – sort out the £s I think. Allegedly I am entitled to contribution based Job Seekers Allowance for six months. Look online surely it will all be there? Yes I can register online so that’s easy isn’t it? Three attempts later I phone the enquiry line and explain my problem Ok they will do it then…hmm…computers… several more attempts and I am informed I will be sent a form to complete manually… is it my name? the date? The jobs I have held? No idea it just doesn’t like me. Looks like retirement will be much the same as work with IT problems then. Complete the form manually and make appointment to visit jobcentre plus. After all the stories about being sent to unsuitable jobs and insistence on O levels and updating IT actually the officer was very sympathetic and recognised the sort of work I was seeking. I am given signing on times and I am told my money will follow. I have after all paid contributions for over thirty years so there I am told an entitlement. That is until I read the small print and find if you receive a pension your JSA may be reduced… so I think have they not read the booklet? No they say they don’t know what the regulations are only the processing office can help me but because I have a manual claim the office can’t view my form or give me any information. When will they be able to look at it… oh it usually takes a week … but it’s now three weeks! Well they’ll look into it… lucky I’m not depending on it then. And is there any help in looking for jobs? Speak to the advisor – but I need another appointment for that…. where’s your form ….. I can’t find it on the screen.. no its a manual entry… well it’s in transit then.. so you can’t advise then.. no phone for an appointment… watch this space then…

And Resolution 2 get fit – join the gym…the private gym is very clean and bright with banks of machines looking to the uninitiated like the bargain basement for the Spanish Inquisition and there’s free juice and shampoo! But for £80 a month I expect free breakfast, lunch and supper and a personal masseur. The exercisers don’t look as if they have retired recently rather an excess of stretchy lycra in neon and body sculpting classes – what on earth? I am going to Try Drawing (of which later) but body sculpting? And its LOUD (now I do sound old) so let’s see what the council can offer… its very local and only a 10 minute walk so that will serve as warm up but still I need to understand  those machines! Am I going to learn to ski/walk or cycle across the world? The choice would seem to be in the hands of my instructor who weighs and measures me then feeds the information into the machine. And I’m off! Daytime TV with subtitles holds my attention while I cycle across the col… in your dreams! Then a cross trainer and stepper –a whole new language is waiting for me. Meanwhile human misery parades across the screen “my husband is bigamist and cheated on me six times” “my mum seduced my boyfriend”” I have an alcohol problem”… never mind according to the presenter all of these problems can be solved if only people talk to teach other “We will provide you with a counsellor and help and I’ll be there to support you” he tells the sufferers, the audience and me.. would he tackle Jobcentre plus for me perhaps?

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